


Life-saver

by yukitsubute



Category: Johnny's Entertainment, KAT-TUN (Band), Kanjani8 (Band)
Genre: Angst, Domestic Violence, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-13
Updated: 2015-11-13
Packaged: 2018-05-01 11:12:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,788
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5203628
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yukitsubute/pseuds/yukitsubute
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Kame gets the feeling that there is someone there for him, he decides to change his life.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Life-saver

Kame lay in the grass. The sun shone on his face. It was the first day in spring that he could stay outside. It was nice to feel the nature becoming alive again. He had his Ipod on highest volume. He loved listening to classic music. It was a nice alternative to the music he actually makes. 

Kame blinked when the sun on his face disappeared. “Hey,” he said, a soft smile around his lips. 

“Hey,” a man stood in front of him and covered the sun from shining on Kame. “Have you thought about my question?” 

Kame rubbed the earphones between his fingers. Of course he had thought about it, but he immediately threw the thought away and distracted himself by doing other things. 

“Ah, I have some other plans, sorry.” Kame finally answered. 

“Again?” Ryo whined. Kame knew that he was really harsh to the other. It wasn’t the first time he avoided to come to an invitation from the other. But nevertheless, he got a little angry about it. 

“We don’t have much to do with each other, so I don’t know why you want to be in touch with me?” Kame knew how offensive his words were, but he couldn’t react differently. He didn’t want to pull anyone else into his life, and he had good reasons for it. 

Ryo was hurt. He could see it in his eyes. “Maybe I am stupid because I thought we could become something like friends. I am sorry for that.” Ryo bowed and turned to leave Kame, who didn’t dare to even move a bit. Something in his heart jumped painfully when he saw Ryo walking away. 

“I am sorry, but it’s for the best.” Kame murmured. He looked down at his hands, the blue spots turned from deep blue to green, and slowly, they started fading. Just like his ability to feel something and like his normal life with his friends. He put his sleeve over the hand so that no one could see his hands, and no one could guess that something was wrong, even though Kame knew that his friends already had a feeling that something was off. 

“Kazuya, come.” he heard a familiar voice from the street. Kame breathed out before he walked up to the black car. “Who was that?” the man asked when Kame climbed into it. 

“No one.” he just answered. 

“I somehow can’t believe that.” the man replied. Kame knew what that tone in the voice meant. He’d again show him where he belonged. He hated that. He hated himself in these moments. He wanted to flee, but he couldn’t. His feet didn’t move a millimetre even though he forced himself. 

“I will find you and your friends.” with this sentence he always got what he wanted. Kame didn’t care about his condition, but he didn’t want his friends to get involved. 

They reached their apartment and Kame already knew what was waiting for him there. He tried to stop himself from feeling or thinking anything. His mind got blank. It was like he was somewhere far away during those moments. He fled with his thoughts to a beautiful place where no one was bothering him. He thought about his friends, and he thought about one certain face he’d like to see more often. 

When he woke up, he was still lying on the floor in the living room. Every move hurt Kame. He could feel some new bruises on his body. He started counting them. 41 in all. He didn’t know why he started this, but it somehow calmed him down. He walked to the bathroom and let some cold water run over his arms. 

He looked at his face in the mirror. For just one moment, he saw another face there. Ryo smiled at him with his bright grin. Kame shook his head and the face disappeared. “I’m starting to get crazy.” he whispered. 

Kame sneaked out of the bathroom. He stopped and listened into the darkness. He couldn’t hear anything. Probably, the other took the alcohol from the fridge and was sleeping now. That’s what he hoped, because then he wouldn’t notice when Kame left the apartment. He’d come back in the early hours of the morning and the other wouldn’t even realize that he was out. Kame did that almost every time. He hated staying at home after “it” happened. He had the feeling that he needed fresh air. He needed the feeling of being free, of belonging to himself and not to someone else. He hated the scent of violence and alcohol in the apartment. If he’d stay, he’d throw up. 

He put on his shoes and left the apartment. His heart beat faster – even though he’s been doing it for months. He was still afraid of getting caught. He closed the door without any noise. Kame breathed out deeply after he reached the street. The next hours would belong to him. Only to him. 

Kame walked down the street till he reached the park. It was a balmy night. He breathed in deeply. It smelled like a summer night just before it started raining. But there were no clouds in the sky. He could see the stars sparkling and the moon lit the way to his favourite tree. 

Kame stopped when he was close to his place. He could hear a silent humming. A calming sound echoed. Someone was playing the guitar. It was a calming but sad sound, Kame thought. He sneaked closer to take a look at the musician. 

His heart stopped. He could only see him from behind, but he knew who it was. The dark hair, the slender figure and the soft voice were unique. Kame leaned against the tree were the other couldn’t see him, and just listened to the music Ryo was making. He closed his eyes and let the music take control over his thoughts. 

When the music stopped Kame peaked around the tree. Ryo was lying on the grass, the guitar next to him, his eyes closed. He didn’t notice that Kame was there, at least not till now. And Kame didn’t want to change that. He looked down at his arms. He wore a t-shirt and everyone could see his bruises. And he never ever wanted the other to know what was happening in his life. 

Kame walked the way back to the park’s entrance. He looked back once, but the other wasn’t following him, so he didn’t realize that he was there. He just wondered what Ryo was doing there at this time.

At the end of the street was a little place around a fountain where Kame sat down. He listened to the water dropping down. It wasn’t his place, but it was okay. “You disappeared suddenly.” Kame’s heart stopped for a moment. He opened his eyes and looked at Ryo, who sat next to him. 

“What are you doing here?” Kame asked. 

“I can ask you the same question.” Ryo only replied. 

For a moment, both of them kept quiet. They just sat there and stared at the fountain. 

“I think I should go now.” Kame interrupted the silence. 

Ryo nodded at him. “You know, I was in the same situation some time ago. Try to trust someone.” He only said. 

Kame looked at him. He felt caught, but he knew it was senseless to deny anything. Ryo knew about it, but he didn’t try to push him. Kame felt like crying. He just nodded and left. 

At home, Kame felt bad. He left Ryo standing there and just walked away. His words still resounded in his head. “Trust someone.” Kame wanted to, but he was far too afraid of it. 

“What if…” always echoed in his head. He feared the other would do something to his friends. He walked up to the bedroom and saw the man lying there. He hated him, much more than everything else in the world. But how could he get away? He couldn’t flee from him. He’d find him anywhere. That’s what the man told him. 

“I was in the same situation.” Kame heard Ryo saying. He didn’t realize it till now, but now he knew why Ryo wanted to be close to him. He knew about Kame’s situation, because he experienced the same. And he wanted to help him out of it. 

Before the man woke up, Kame sneaked out of the apartment again. He knew that the other would see that he wasn’t at home. But for some moments, he felt confident enough to leave him. 

He stood on the street, looking up to their apartment. The window from their bedroom was open. Kame blinked. For one second, he had the feeling that the other was observing him and was hiding behind the curtains. Kame got afraid. “I will find your friends.” he heard a voice in his head. He rushed back to the apartment and found the other in the kitchen, preparing breakfast. 

“Where have you been?” the man asked. His voice was husky and a smell of alcohol reached Kame. 

“I just needed some fresh air.” Kame lied. He hated himself for going back, but it was like his mind couldn’t leave this place. 

The other scanned him. He probably knew it was a lie, but he didn’t say anything. “Eat.” he said and placed a plate on the table. Kame obeyed. He didn’t feel hungry, but he knew what would happen when he didn’t do what the other wanted him to do. 

He sat there and started eating. It tasted good – actually. But the fact that it was made by someone he hated made it taste like poison. Maybe Kame also feared the other would kill him one day. 

“Do you like it?” Kame winced. He hated hearing this voice. 

“Sure.” he answered absent-mindedly. 

“Do you have rehearsals today?” the other wanted to know. 

Kame thought about it for a second. “Yes,” he finally said even though it was a lie. At least he would get away from the apartment and the man. 

“I will pick you up later then.” the other would never give up his control over him, Kame knew that, but nevertheless, he wasn’t able to leave him. 

~~~

Kame was strolling down the street. The other would pick him up in two hours, so he has some moments to relax. He sat down on a bench in the small park behind the agency. It was a warm day, and some sunlight shone on his face. He breathed in deeply. He liked the silence surrounding him. He listened to the leaves moving in the wind, and he felt the small breeze touching his face. 

“How about running away?” Kame winced when someone behind him said that. 

He turned. Ryo smiled at him. He leaned against the bench, his hands in his pockets. His eyes were friendly, and there was something mesmerizing in it. For a moment, Kame looked at him without saying anything. Then he laughed sadly. “Run away?” he sighed. “That’s not an option.” 

“Why?” Ryo wanted to know. 

“He’ll find me and I don’t want to know what will happen then.” Kame answered honestly. He didn’t know why he suddenly spoke about it, because he’s been trying to keep silent about his situation. But with Ryo it was different. He had the feeling that the other knew what was happening to him, without Kame telling him about it. Ryo just knew what was going on. 

“I see.” Ryo nodded. His voice was dark and strong, Kame liked that. He shook his head. He couldn’t like Ryo, he just couldn’t. The other would probably kill them both if he’d stay in contact with Ryo. 

“I should go.” Kame got nervous when he thought about the other and his threat. 

“He threatens you, right?” Ryo asked without looking at him. His voice revealed that he exactly knew what he was talking about. “And you don’t want anyone to be in danger?” he added. 

Something in Kame clenched. No one ever spoke out loud what he felt. He didn’t know if he was more afraid now, or if he felt calmness spreading throughout his body. “Yes,” he murmured. It was the first time he gave an answer to someone. 

“Kame, no one is allowed to handle you like this. You are a strong person, change your situation.” Ryo started. He stepped a little closer to Kame to touch his shoulder slightly. 

Kame looked at Ryo, who smiled at him. It was a sad smile, but it had sparkles of hope in it. For the first time, Kame felt something in him rise. He remembered the last months. Ryo was always there, but he never bothered the other. He never interfered in Kame’s relationship, but he gave him the feeling that he would be there if Kame would need him. 

“Can I drop by later?” Kame’s voice was husky, but he sounded strong. 

Ryo looked at him friendly. “I told you several times, my door will always be open.” 

“You never said that.” Kame complained, but he smiled at his own words. Of course Ryo never said it out loud, but with all the invitations and Ryo dropping by in the park, Kame knew the other would listen to him and let him in if he’d need it. 

“Clear your things, and drop by.” Ryo only said. There was something in his eyes telling Kame that the other was relieved. Kame sighed. Ryo suffered with him, even though he never said anything or tried pulling him out directly. 

“Why did you never try pushing me?” Kame wanted to know. 

Ryo tilted his head a little. “I never did it because it wouldn’t have helped to force you. You need to make this decision on your own.” 

Kame nodded. He felt strength floating through his body and he knew he’d make this step. He would end this relationship and he’d no longer do what the other wanted him to. He decided to walk home without waiting for the other to catch him up. Kame feared he would lose the will to end it when there’d be too much time to think about it again. 

“I’ll do it,” he said to himself while he started walking. He could feel Ryo’s sight resting on him, and it made his feeling of being strong more present. 

~~~

Ryo waited in his apartment. He looked at the clock on the wall. Every minute felt like hours for him. Slowly, he started getting worried. It was five hours ago that Kame spoke with him, and he couldn’t believe that it’d take that much time. 

He dialled Kame’s number. Voicemail. He tried it again half an hour later. Voicemail. Right at the moment he wanted to leave the apartment, someone knocked on his door. 

It was Kame standing there, his face covered with dry tears. Ryo let him in. “What happened?” he wanted to know. 

“He ended his life.” was the only thing Kame said. He sat on the couch and started staring at the wall. Ryo let him. He knew it was senseless to try to talk to him right now. He brought him some tea and made something to eat, but Kame didn’t take anything. 

Ryo sat next to him and waited. He waited till Kame wanted to talk. He knew it would happen, and he knew he needed time. “You know,” Kame started after a while. “I am relieved that he is gone now.” 

Ryo looked at him. He nodded. “I know what you mean.” 

“But doesn’t that make me a bad person?” Kame asked further. 

Ryo tilted his head. “What do you mean?” 

Kame smiled sadly. He wiped away some tears on his face. He bit his lips nervously. Normally, Ryo liked how Kame did this, but now he was worried. “I am happy that someone is dead. Isn’t that a crime?”   
It was the first time Ryo didn’t know what to answer. Even though he had similar experience, he had no words. He sat a little closer to Kame and put his hand around the other’s shoulder. “I think it’s okay how you feel. You had to go through a lot of things, and feeling relieved is your right.” 

Kame nodded, almost invisible. “I’ll be here for you, I promise.” Ryo looked at him, a smile curling around his lips. 

Now Kame smiled a little. It was a sad and an absent-minded smile, but Ryo could see that Kame was hoping for this. “Thanks for everything.” he said almost voiceless. 

Ryo stroked over Kame’s shoulder softly and leaned his head against Kame’s. “Always,” he just said before both of them kept silent again.


End file.
